December 05, 2009

Winning and losing

Yiu Yiu got this set of numbers snap cards from a classmate's party pack when he celebrated his birthday at the kindy few weeks back.

This set of cards has become one of her favourite game. Whenever she asked me to play with her, I would purposely win two sets, and let her win the other three, so she would end up having more cards than me at the end of the game. However she didn't like losing at all, not even the two sets of cards.

One day, she was in one of her foul moods and when I won the two sets of cards as usual, she threw a tantrum and started throwing the cards on the floor. I reprimanded her and demanded that she picked them up, or else I would toss them all in the rubbish bin. The stubborn mule that she is, she refused – so I started to pick up all the cards. When she saw me doing that, she started to cry and pulled my shirt to stop me from picking up the cards. I gave her another chance but still she refused to pick them up as instructed. I brushed her hands off me, picked up the cards and threatened to tear them. She was bawling at this point and finally surrendered, "Mummy mummy, I don't want to win already. I let you win." I explained to her that in any game, she would win some, and she would lose some – and that's a fact of life. That she can't expect to get her way ALL the time; that things don't happen they way she wished ALL the time.

After that episode, whenever we play the game, she'd take defeat in her stride, though I still let her win the three sets. And the babysitter told me that when she played the game with the two boys at her place, she would even let them win, and said, "My mummy say I cannot win all the time, so this time I let you win."

I hope she has learnt her lesson, that life throws her a lemon sometimes. A little too deep for a 4-year old, but I guess it's never too early to teach her to accept defeat graciously.


KittyCat said... boy is very, very competitive. We've never played any 'win' or 'lose' games yet so I should try one to see what he's like.

I should ask what he's like at school since they always have games etc.

Can you imagine that he'll chug down his milk bottle while I breastfeed the baby and then declare loudly, "Lucas qian mian! Baby hou mian!" O_O

By the way, I don't think Yiu Yiu should let the 2 boys win! Boys are naturally competitive and girls naturally gracious - I think she should give them her very best shot ;-)

That'll give them something to think about when they see your pint-sized pixie LOL Girl power!!!

michelle@mybabybay said...

Not sure why children likes to win all the time. I told my children, if they always win, they will never have friends. Because no one wants to play with them.

ryeli said...

great that she understands the concept. i'm still trying to teach rye li on this, i know she'll show her black face if she loses at the daycare. guess she'll have to learn the hard way when she is with her friends. :)

A Mom's Diary said...

Kittycat - Yiu Yiu likes to race me to the bathroom/kitchen/etc and then declare, "I win, you lose", much like the way Lucas declares, "Lucas qian mian, baby hou mian" :-)

Haha, my little pixie terrorizes the two boys to no ends.

Michelle - survival instint? :-)

Syn - not easy being parents, eh? So many things to consider for the sake of our children.

jazzmint said... at least she grasp the concept, faythe still haven't get that

A Mom's Diary said...

Jazz - now she even lets me win. to tell her that she doesn't need to purposely lose, but to just compete fairly? Sigh!!!