Funny conversations

Being fat
Papa was cleaning Yiu Yiu up after she did her big business. Out of the blue she said, “Papa, you so fat! Don’t eat so much already, OK.”

Traffic jam
Hubby was fetching Yiu Yiu from babysitter one evening, and got caught in the rush-hour traffic.
Yiu Yiu: Idiot! Stupid driver!
Papa: Eh! Why you say such things?
Yiu Yiu: Traffic jam mah, traffic jam must say like this one.
Papa: Why traffic jam must say like this?
Yiu Yiu (replying in a serious tone): Yes, mummy say like this one when traffic jam, not I say one.

Sure enough, mummy got reprimanded by papa that day for not minding mummy’s language…and yes, she’s picking up Manglish from us. It’s bad, but (sigh!) it’s so difficult to switch to proper English in our day-to-day conversation.

Nowadays, I asked her to reprimand me whenever she hears me cursing while driving, and she takes absolute pleasure in doing so. Just the other morning, I muttered “Stupid” quietly under my breath and she was quick to throw me an angry glance and a stern “Mummy”.

God is in my heart
The kindy that Yiu Yiu attends is run by the DUMC. As such, the children start the day with Bible stories, and they are also taught Christian and worshipping songs. Though we are not Christians, we don’t mind it at all, since all religions preach the same principle of goodness and kindness to mankind. The other day, we had this conversation.
Yiu Yiu: Mummy, God is in my heart (pressing her hands against her chest).
Mummy: Yes darling, God is in your heart.
Yiu Yiu: But next time right, when I am sick and I vomit, I will vomit God out one!
Mummy: Oh dear God, please continue to stay in her heart.